I have decided among many things in my life but one thing I know was the best decision of my life was becoming a mother. The good the bad and the ugly as the saying goes... The thing that surprised me the most was the things they really don't tell you about. My daughter is 15 months old and the cliche thing to say I suppose is "man time has flown". I just can't bring myself to fully understand or fully cope with just how quickly time has gone. My little baby is no more and is now a toddler. I don't understand how to express it and for those that have been there understand. Anyway enough of that, I'm starting to sound like every other person out there. So back to decisions. It's a funny thing to look back on everything you've done. My personal favourite is when you look back on your childhood or teenage years, yuck! Looking back on the last 15 months though, man okay so let us start.
First being pregnant. Morning sickness... is that a joke?? it is not just morning, it is the constant feeling of when you are just about to vomit, I mean that moment right before the dying cow noise escapes. That moment when your saliva is hot and you get goosebumps and you brace for the eruption. Now that moment hold it there! STOP and think about it, now keep that feeling going all through breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then just before you wake up, righter after you get comfy and just before you fall asleep. I read that in the first trimester we create 40,000 hormones extra. I mean they are bastards before the extra part. Where was I.... oh yes the beginning. So after all the fun hormones are done violating your body then you feel the flutter. That first flutter of movement. Honestly, it was amazing, the genuine smile on my face, my husband was home and it was my birthday! How lovely. Then that little movement grows. Till you can't move or sleep or get comfy and then you have to wait and wait and wait some more for this little human to decide it wants to come out... Great... so decision making, you have plans and ideas for birthing, Please let me explain that absolutely nothing will matter and the birth will take its own course. Epidural ended up being fantastic even though I tried to push her out all-natural like. I've never been more proud of myself. Not ever.
Wow typing thoughts out is amazing. I'm not going to bore myself with too much detail of horrific painful events (not that I remember them, poor hubby does though) oh speaking of, shout out some respect for the husbands I'm sorry but I don't care what anyone says, woman may go through physical pain but men go through emotional pain. Watching your loved one go through something like that can't be easy.
Breastfeeding was fine and yes it hurts and yes it's uncomfortable and don't forget to express even though you don't want to. It's okay. I realised quickly, if woman for thousands of years can do it then so can I. Don't believe the internet and everything you read, you have to listen to your mother instincts it will guide you to where you need to go. You will be woken every two hours by the little human. Its stomach is only the size of a walnut so it empties really quickly. You know I never thought but one day my daughter could read this.
I guess it comes down to every baby is going to be different and that's okay not to be experiencing the same thing as others. Also, keep reminding yourself that the first 12 months is a long crazy rollercoaster every month the child is different and takes huge mental leaps. We are all mammals and a baby is only running on instinct. They don't know how to self-sooth... like at all... that's what the mother is for. Don't let them lie there and cry, give them all the cuddles and let them fall asleep in your arms because at the end of the day one moment you'll be standing, lying or sitting and you will realise that your once little baby is now too big to cuddle and rock to sleep and you will miss all those moments once they are gone so make sure to hold onto it. Literally.